Trust

It doesn’t come naturally for me.  Not at all.  I think my whole life I have functioned by holding most people at arms length.  Not even just people, but experiences.  Isn’t that pitiful?  I can say that now, because I SEE it.  But for years, I didn’t.  I didn’t understand that not everyone is out to get you.  Not everyone has a hidden agenda or an ulterior motive.  Not every risk you take will end badly.  Sometimes, it’s good and healthy and ok to just trust.

For Anton’s birthday this year, I decided we needed an adventure.  Something to get us out of our rut and into some fun.  Something that would force us to let go a little and just breathe.  We found that about an hour from home,down a winding road in the middle of nowhere, on a quiet ranch in Texas. 

I had worked myself into a full-blown excitement leading up to our horseback ride.  I imagined all sorts of romantic possibilities about looking lovely whilst galloping into the sunset and dining by a lake with wine and steak.  I imagined we would be euphoric, and that our ride would bring about a sort of peace we hadn’t had in months.

I was right about a couple of things.  We did have steak and wine by a lake and our ride did in fact bring about a sense of euphoria, eventually.  But what I failed to take into account leading up to this big "romantic" moment was something I had struggled with my entire life: trust.

At first we just stood in the same space as the horses.  A sort of “getting to know you”.  We familiarized ourselves with the sounds and smells of the ranch.  We bundled up, because it was the end of November and a chilly evening.  We pet their noses and whispered to them.  We introduced ourselves to our fellow riders.

Soon it was time to “saddle up”.  I stood reluctantly to the side, careful not to make too much eye contact with the rancher who would be our riding guide.  He was outgoing, loud, and had a hearty smile and laugh.  He called to me.

“You…darling!  Ever rode a horse before?”  I shook my head.  No words came out.  Then I managed, “when I was a child…maybe at the fair?”.  He laughed a belly laugh…”ok, so NO then!”  He smiled warmly and I gave him a half-hearted return grin.  He ushered me into the arena and led me over to “Little Mama”.  The only trouble was, Mama wasn’t so little.

Fear choked me.  This moment in my mind seemed so much more romantic!   So suave and smooth.  So easy…  Instead, I was shaking.  This horse seemed so big.  I felt so small (quite a feat, I assure you!).  I didn’t have time to gauge how to cope with my nerves – because I was unceremoniously shoved upward and onto Little Mama, who gave a snort and a whinny at being freshly sat on.  She pawed a bit and started to back up.  I froze, loosely grasping the reins.  The rancher took her bridle and calmed her.  Then he turned to me and said “ok darling…you’ve got this!  You can do this!  She’s gonna treat you right, but you have to let her know who’s boss, ok?  Just hold these reins, and pull this way to go left, this way to go right, and this right here to slow her down.” 

His instructions were quick and I felt I should be writing them down.  This way to do what now?  Left if I pull which way? Left, right? Straight back, not up, to slow down?  Is that right?

“Now, take her around the ring a few times to get the hang of it, ok?”, he called out to me. I started to question, but he had already tucked my feet in the stirrups and strode away to help another rider.  I nervously glanced around the arena, looking for AB.  There he sat, confident and smiling ear to ear, atop “Alex”.  Alex who had no bridle…only a horsehair rope around his face. Anton made it look so easy...so effortless.  How was he so confident?  Wasn't he afraid at all?

I clicked my tongue, and nothing happened.  “Come on, Little Mama”, I coached.  Nothing.  “Let’s take a walk”, I encouraged…and to no avail.  She stood motionless.  For that I should have been grateful, but I was trying to obey the rancher.  We needed to practice walking, didn't we?  How could I go on this ride if I couldn't even get my horse to walk forward?  Instead, Little Mama moved slowly toward a large bucket and leaned way down to take in gulps of fresh water.  In doing so, I was forced to lean down with her – or risk losing the reins.  I felt ridiculous.  Any moment, they would find me in that water bucket – head over feet. 

After what seemed like an eternity, Little Mama finally raised up and walked slightly to the right and back toward the circle of horses, now snorting and sniffing out their new riders.  Anton tried to call out instructions to me, but I was overcome with trying to focus.  In my mind, I would be falling off this horse any nano second.  I felt scared and unsure of myself.  On the outside, I tried to appear calm and cool.  On the inside, I was going over the funeral arrangements I thought would be necessary.

Now, you mustn't think me ridiculous, though I was.  I fully underestimated my ability to manage a large horse.  If you have never sat atop a large horse (or any horse for that matter), then you simply cannot know how alarming it is to suddenly find yourself there.  The truth is, it is most definitely not like what we see in the movies.  It is not without a lot of effort.  In fact, my thighs were already beginning to hurt from the hard leather of the saddle.  My hands were cold, even with gloves, and I could imagine how sore they would be from holding those reins for three hours. 

Actually, I imagined all sorts of things.  I imagined Little Mama getting tired of carrying my load, and dumping me unceremoniously in the dirt.  I imagined her stepping on me.  I imagined breaking bones.  I imagined our fantastic adventure turning into an emergency room visit.  Yes, my active imagination, my fear, and my issues with trust were in full blown mayhem mode. 

Suddenly the rancher whistled and called out to us.  He announced we’d be moving and so we did.  Somehow, the horses knew what to do – and each one followed the other until we had formed a loose line or sorts.  We walked a steady pace on a dirt road and after a short time, found ourselves surrounded by beautiful country.  Trees, fall leaves, water holes, and even wild horses were our only company.  The air was cool and brisk and the sky a perfect blue.  We wove in and out of paths that took us sometimes deep into heavily wooded areas – and suddenly we would find ourselves out in the open range, not a sound to be heard for miles around it seemed.  Just the steady pace of our horses and the rustling of leaves on the ground.

It only took a little while before I realized that Little Mama was a good horse.  She was a little bit stubborn, but to that I could relate.  She often wanted to stop and graze – but I quickly learned how to keep her on track.  She liked to suddenly drop into a trot, which at first took me by surprise and scared me.  But soon I relaxed into her rhythm and knew that she had a favorite horse she was trying to walk beside.  When her “friend” would fall out of range, she would trot to catch up.  It just happened to be that her "friend" was Alex. 

After walking through dense wood, we came to a fairly large “dip” in the path.  When the rancher called out that we would need to “run” the horses down and back up, I felt my whole body go tense.  My new found comfort slipped away and I felt my palms getting sweaty.  Run?  No, we can’t run.  There can be no running while I am on this horse.  “Pull the reins back so that her head comes up!” the rancher called out.  “Her head needs to be up when she runs down the embankment”. 

Fear is a powerful thing, isn’t it?  What I wanted to do in that moment was literally hop off that horse and walk back to the ranch.  I could see that “dip” and I was terrified.  But truthfully, this was no time to panic.  This was not the time to give up or be so afraid that I derailed the whole adventure.  Definitely not.  So I took a deep breath, and I gave Little Mama a pat on her neck.  I whispered to her “come on girl…you can do this…I’m trusting you!”

We approached and with no hesitation, Little Mama ran down the embankment and back up with skilled calm.  I, on the other hand, wanted to shout “I DID IT!”  Instead, I sat awestruck.  Not because I had managed to sit still while a trained horse did its job.  No.  I was proud of my own ability to let go and enjoy that building trust I had with Little Mama.  Dare I say, that little "run" was fun?  There had been nothing for me to do in that moment but stay calm and trust.  It occurred to me only afterward that she knew this path well.  Her hooves had helped form the cleared way that we now found ourselves in the middle of.  She walked it almost every day, and alongside her fellow horses, created a roadway of sorts that carried riders in and back out again.

Finally, we approached a campsite.  With cold stiff limbs and careful movements, we slid off our gentle giants.  We were met with a lovely man-made lake, wine, and a crackling campfire.  Steaks were grilling on a large open flame, and tables were neatly arranged with fresh fruit and water.  We ate, drank, and watched the sun set gently over the Texas sky. 

When night had fallen and our bellies were rested – we fumbled in the dark with flashlights and re-mounted our horses.  Little Mama sniffed and snorted, probably tired herself from a full day of work.  She moved about restlessly, and again – my fears came to the surface.  It was dark and I couldn’t see ten feet in front of me.  I started to become anxious.  I could hear the other riders…I could make out shapes and I could tell that we were getting ready to move – but Little Mama was agitated and she began to whinny and fret.  She moved about in the dark and I felt powerless to control her. I knew what to do, I thought…but it wasn’t working.  Soon we were caught up in rope that had been tied between trees.  We were shimmying off the path and I felt my hands start to shake. 

“Shhhhhh”.  A woman’s voice spoke in the darkness.  “Sshhhhh, Little Mama…you’re alright…you just calm down and treat this gal right.  If you can do that, I’ll give you some extra feed tonight…sound good?”  It was Dawn, the woman who had just made our wonderful meal.  Her hand stroked Little Mama’s neck and she continued to hold her bridle and murmur gently to her.  I sat frozen, and soon Dawn spoke to me; “just relax my friend…it’s ok…she’s alright now.  I know you’re nervous, but she’s gonna treat you right, ok?  Don’t be afraid.  She can sense your fear.  Just trust her, ok?” 

I willed myself to relax.  To let my body loosen and my mind to settle.  Soon, the horses began to walk and fell into their routine line.  As we wandered a path through the dark, I tried to get my eyes to rest on anything – but the night was already so dense and the moon had not yet come up.  I could hardly make out the silhouettes of the riders and horses around me.  The rancher called out to us “I know it’s hard for you to see anything, but rest assured…the horses can see really well at night…so not to worry!  You’re in good hands!”  I took a deep breath and let it out.  Relax, I reminded myself.  Trust.  Little Mama has done this before and you haven’t.  Trust.

I heard Anton call to me, and as if she knew, Little Mama fell into a trot to catch up to Alex.  Side by side, we walked for some time with only the stars above to guide us.  In this moment, any fear I had fell away.  It was magnificent.  It took my breath away – the awesome beauty of the night sky, filled with millions of stars shining down on us.  It was completely silent, save the sound of the horses hooves hitting the dirt in a smooth clippity-clop. I had never in my life experienced anything like it.  Riding a horse under the stars in the middle of gorgeous Texas country is something awesome to behold.  It did not escape me that if I had let my fear rule, I would have missed this glorious moment in time.

Finally I could see the lights of the ranch in the distance, and before long we were back in the arena and dismounting.  I was almost sad to say goodbye to Little Mama.  I gave her nose a rub and whispered a quick “thank you” before walking to Anton and making my way out.

Tired, sore, and completely spent - yes.  But emotionally I was so moved.  My euphoria came at the cost of focus, hard work, sore muscles, worn out limbs...and trust.  It was a beautiful day…a beautiful experience and a wondrous ride into nature atop one of God’s most magnificent creatures.  Certainly not an every day experience for this suburb girl!  I hoped as we drove away that I would be back again to see Little Mama and have another opportunity to trust her and benefit from it in the way I just had.

More than all of that beauty, something more powerful had remained.  A gentle reminder throughout to simply trust.  And this touched me in the greater picture of my life and my faith.  Even when it’s difficult.  Even when it hurts or is uncomfortable.  Even when it seems like the better option is just to “dismount” and walk back the way you came.  Trust.  When you're facing steep embankments and you're filled with the fear of failure. Trust.  When you imagine all kinds of worst case scenarios in your mind.  Trust.

I was vulnerable in ways I hadn’t considered before the ride.  But in letting go and trusting, I found such peace and beauty.  Not only that, but a desire to experience that trust again and to improve upon it.

Could that be true of my walk with God?

Could I let go and trust Him to walk me down the path that He knows better than I ever will?  To trust that He has walked the road I’m walking and that He knows it intimately because He created it.  What kind of rest could I find in trusting that He can see far better than I can in the darkness?

When I feel the most vulnerable, He is well equipped to carry my load.  When I am weak, He is strong.

I’m learning…one baby step of my life at a time.  Learning in big and small ways and reaping the rewards of letting go of my fears. 

Learning to rely on the One who paved the road and knows every groove and every "dip" that life will bring my way.

Learning to trust.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.” – Proverbs 3:5-6, NIV

Written by: Christie Bucher
You can read more of Christie's posts at her blog: Bushel & A Peck

Planted Prayers

My younger sister is one of the lost.  She struggles through her day in misery and barely covers it with a forced smile.  She is angry, sad, and defensive.  She attempts to fill her need of Jesus with baseball, friends, alcohol, and more baseball. 

She is lost.

This is my sister of "BFF" quality from our early youth.  We played on the same ball teams, cheered on the same squads, shared clothes and friends, and shared bedrooms.  We even shared the title of Homecoming Queen.  She is the sibling that never judged or questioned my decisions (possibly wrongly so).  She can be funny and caring and will serve others until she is spent.

But, she is lost.

She has a permanent sport on my prayer list for the last 10 years.  My prayers are the same over and over.  And over.  "Lord, why can't she see she needs you?  Why won't she stop running away and run toward you? Why, Lord?"

Sometimes I wonder if my Father's ears are sore from my constant, sometimes rote, prayers over her heart.  Now, I know that he never tires of my concerns over her.  But come on, Lord!  Let's see some action here.

Can you say "impatient"?

While reading Mark Batterson's book The Circle Maker, I was smacked on the forehead with his thoughts about thinking and praying "long".  He says prayers can be like seeds planted.  We want to reap the second after we sow.  We want things to happen at the speed of light.  Instead our prayers should be in line with the "patience of the planter, foresight of the farmer, and the mindset of the sower".  Instead of thinking and praying in terms of time, my prayers are prayed in light of eternity (pp 134-135).

This isn't really a new thought.  However, I like the picture it gives of seeds and their seemingly slow growth.  Under ground the seed is busy setting down roots and soaking water to create a solid foundation for what will grow up top.  None of those things can we see.  We pray and wait and wait and pray not seeing what is going on behind the curtain.

But God knows.  He knows how my prayers for my sister's heart have changed.  Less rote and demanding and more sincere and heartfelt.  God knows how my prayers for her have changed my heart.  God knows what is brewing in her heart and the outcome of her decision is already written. 

Regardless of the result of my prayers here on earth, God's word says:

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express Romans 8:26.

So, I will continue to pray even if I don't have any words.  I will pray in light of eternity and seek to set aside my impatience.  I will pray long for her heart.

What a marvelous God we serve.

Have a prayerful day,
Niki

Baptism, Pizza, and Answered Prayers

On Sunday, angels in heaven celebrated.  Another child of God was written into His Book of Life.  My third child celebrated her commitment to Christ in baptism.  Her father had the amazing privilege of walking her through her public announcement of faith and bringing her up from the water.  Symbolically clean and new.  God provided us, her parents, with the precious gift of walking alongside her and participating in her baptism.

Witnessing her baptism were parents, grandparents, cousins, aunts, and neighbors.  Some of those people are Christians and some of them have lost their way in the straight path and have become weak in their tread (Hebrews 12).  And some of those witnesses, don't even know the path exists.  Unbeknowst to me, the Lord had a plan for each of those baptismal guests.  He had a specific message for each and every one of them and boy, were they listening.

Over our celebratory pizza lunch, Mario and I were amazed to listen to how God spoke to each of them.  Our Lord is an expert wooer and His efforts seemed to be successful.  Our Catholic neighbors, who admittedly "don't have a God-thing", left Frisco Bible with pressing questions on their hearts and minds.  Our CEO attending parents were also touched in a way that is spurring them to ask questions and rethink their church-going frequency (by the way, that's "Christmas-Easter-Other important holidays").  And lastly, my high-school bestie with whom I have been praying for, meeting with, and discipling for two years, has asked to come to church with us next Sunday.  She wants to dive right in and get involved.  She is excited about checking out the single moms' life group, Awana, women's ministry stuff, and being part of a community that is running the race for Him, with Him, and in His strength.

Hallelujah!  I almost choked on my no-sauce-Alfredo-thin-crust-pizza.  The Lord was busy that Sunday morning and I wasn't even aware.  He used an event like my girl's baptism to reach at least 6 other people in my immediate circle.  What an amazing, involved, detailed, active, sovereign, and powerful God He is!

I hope that your day is as joyful as mine.

Niki

Plentiful Purposes

Did you miss the "Painting with a Purpose" event? Then, you missed these wise words from our Women's Director, Jen Bryant.  Take a few minutes to read what Jen (and the Bible, of course!) has to say about our purpose.

“Painting with a Purpose” Women’s Event Devotional 10/20/2012

So, can anyone tell me the title of our event tonight?  That’s right - “Painting with a Purpose.”  What was your purpose in coming here tonight?  To eat some good Mexican food?  To meet new friends or hang out with old ones?  To have fun and paint something pretty in the process?  Or to just get out of the house and get a break from your kiddos?  All of those are certainly valid purposes for showing up tonight – but, regardless of why you came, we’re glad you’re here!

I wanted to talk with you a little bit tonight about this word -  “Purpose” – It’s an interesting word – one we hear quite a bit in the world around us – Maybe you’ve heard of a book called “The Purpose-Driven Life” that was a best-seller a few years ago.  Or, if you have young children like me, you might often hear a little tattle-tale say – “She did it on purpose!” around your house. 

            If you Google “Purpose” on the internet, you’ll get all kinds of hits, some are Christian-based, many are – uh – not so much.  When I Googled  the word “purpose” – I even discovered a  website boasting “How to Discover Your Life Purpose in About 20 Minutes!”  by some guy named Steve.  (Not really a website I would recommend, by the way.)  Bottom line is:  People in our world are hungry for purpose, for meaning, in their lives.  

The Net Bible dictionary defines purpose as “the reason for which something is done or created, or for which something exists.”  Take this paintbrush for example – it was created for a purpose, right?  What is that purpose?  To paint, of course!  Now, that didn’t even take 20 minutes to determine, did it?  Steve on the internet would be impressed!  The reason this paintbrush was created or exists is to paint.  Our purpose may not be quite that simple, but God’s Word does lay it out pretty clearly that we were created for a specific purpose.  Now, I don’t really care much about what Steve on the internet has to say about my life purpose, but I definitely care about what God has to say about it.  How about you?

A God of Purpose:

You don’t have to look very far into God’s Word to discover that our God is a God of purpose. 

 Psalm 33:11 says:

¹¹ But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.  

I just love that God is a planner, because I am such a planner myself!  But, unlike me, the Lord always has a clear, unchanging purpose to His plans!  When the planner in me gets a little carried away with all of my own plans,  the Lord gently (or sometimes not so gently!) reminds me of one of my favorite Scriptures in Proverbs 19:21 -

Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

Our Ultimate Purpose – To Bring Glory to God:

Our God is definitely a God of purpose, and His Word is clear that he created us for a purpose.  God tells us in the book of Genesis tells that we, as humans, are the only creation He created in His image.  Just as a mirror reflects your image when you look into it, you were created to reflect God and His glory.  In Ephesians 1: 11-12, Paul tells us that:

we were chosen according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will, in order that we… might be for the praise of His glory.  

You were created for the purpose of being “the praise of His glory”!  How amazing is that?  Oh, and how convicting is that?  Do you live your life in such a way, do you “rise up and walk” out your faith so that it causes others to take notice and praise God because of you?  But, before you get too stressed out or overwhelmed with that awesome responsibility, remember it’s not about you and what you can or cannot do – it’s all about Him and what His Holy Spirit can do through you – and He can do anything!   Remember our women’s ministry “Plugged Into Christ” theme verse Col. 1:29?  To this end I labor, struggling with all HIS energy, which so powerfully works in me. ??  -Sorry, I just couldn’t resist throwing that in there! ;)  

            So then, our ultimate purpose, the reason for which we were created, is to bring glory to our God.  But how can the Lord use you and me for the purpose of bringing Him glory?  If you take a quick look at your Bible concordance, you will see that the word “purpose” is used many, many times throughout Scripture.  The English word purpose is translated from a few different Hebrew and Greek words in the original Scriptures, but they all carry similar definitions like “plan, purpose, will.”  We will focus on just a few of these “purpose” Scriptures tonight and take note of four of the ways God created us to fulfill our ultimate purpose of bringing Him glory.

1.  Sharing the Word of Life:

One of my favorite “purpose” Scriptures is Philippians 2:13: 

…for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose.  ¹⁴ Do everything without complaining or arguing, ¹⁵ so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe ¹⁶ as you hold out the word of life… 

God created us to shine like stars for Him in this dark and depraved world – but did you notice what makes us shine like stars?  First, doing everything without complaining or arguing and secondly, holding out the word of life!  As we refuse to give in to the selfish, negative, “my way or the highway” attitude that so pervades our world today, as we hold out God’s Word and share the Good News of Jesus Christ with others, we will shine like stars! 

As Luke says in Acts 20:24,

But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned to me by the Lord Jesus – the work of telling others about the wonderful grace of God! (NLT)

2.  Serving Others:

God not only created us to bring Him glory by sharing His Word with others, but he also created us to share His goodness and love by serving others.  Phil 2:1-4 says: 

 If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ² then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. ³ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. ⁴ Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Paul goes on to point out that the Jesus Himself did not come to be served, but to serve – to the point of willingly giving up His life for us!

3.  Becoming More Like Jesus:

That brings me to the 3rd way that God fulfills His purpose in us – by making us more like Jesus, our Savior:

Romans 8:28 says,   ²⁸ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. ²⁹ For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son.

I don’t know about you, but I find so much comfort in God’s promise that He works in everything in our lives – the good, the bad, and the ugly - for our good.  And our ultimate “good” is to be conformed to the likeness of His Son.   It sure can be tough, and it can downright painful at times, but if we come out on the other side of a trial or struggle looking even a little bit more like Jesus, then it is more than worth it!  In all things, God works for the good of those who love Him - He can even turn our biggest mistakes, the messes we so often make of our own lives, into the biggest masterpieces if we let Him.    Our God is in the business of bringing beauty from ashes, remember?

4.  Living by Faith, Not by Sight:

Finally, we were created to bring God glory by living by faith, not by sight. 

2 Corinthians 5 says:
¹ Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands…  ⁴ For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling... ⁵ Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.
⁶ Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. ⁷ We live by faith, not by sight. -2Cor. 5:1, 4-7
This earth is not our home, ladies.  We were created to be free from these earthly tents we carry around and be at home in our heavenly dwelling with our Father God!  We bring God glory when we live by faith, knowing that our hope and our true home is in heaven with the Lord.  Therefore, as Colossians 3:2 says, we “set our mind on things above, not on earthly things.”

So, there you have it – just a little “crash course” about some of the things God has to say about your purpose and my purpose.  Sharing God’s Word, Serving Others, Becoming More Like Jesus, and Living By Faith are just a few of the ways God uses is to fulfill our ultimate purpose of bringing Him glory. 

But before I wrap things up, I must add a very important side note.  Your true purpose – to bring glory to God – is still your true purpose whether or not you have chosen to trust Jesus Christ and accept His free gifts of forgiveness and eternal life with Him.  It’s really very simple – Romans 10:9 tells us “if you confess with your mouth ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.”  Bottom line, God created you – and He created you for a specific purpose.  However, the BIG problem is, if you have not trusted and believed in Jesus, you have no hope of ever being able to fulfill the purpose for which you were created! 

You see, as I mentioned before, you were created in God’s image – just as this glove was created in the image of a hand.  It can’t do anything all by itself – it was created in the image of a hand and it cannot fulfill its purpose, what it was created for, without a hand in it.  I can try filling it with other things – I can stick this paintbrush in it or maybe fill it up with water or tortilla chips, but this glove is never going to be able to do what it was made to do until I put a hand in it.  It is the same way with you – you were created in God’s image, and without God, without His Holy Spirit dwelling inside of you, you cannot fulfill the purpose for which you were created.  As Jesus Himself said in John 15:5 – “apart from me you can do nothing.”

I leave you with one last Scripture of encouragement regarding your purpose –

Psalm 138:8 –

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me;
your love, O Lord, endures forever—
do not abandon the works of your hands.

Never forget that you are the work of God’s hands, just as the painting you create tonight will be the work of your hands.  Now, you may give your painting away as a gift, or your painting may eventually end up abandoned in an attic or garage, or even a trash can (gasp!), but God will never abandon the work of His hands.  And, in His unfailing love, He will fulfill His purpose for you!

Jen Bryant

Director of Women's Ministry

Circle of Love

A crash and a tumble are heard throughout my house.  Immediately after, the smallest munchkin comes screaming toward me needing some comfort.  I immediately put out my arms to hug him and offer a little momma-love.  He puts his head on my shoulder and calms to a sniffle.

He looks in my eyes with tears streaming down his face.  "It's like a circle, Mom."  My arms he means.  "Yeah, a circle of love".

What a clenching of the heart that boy can initiate.  He's right though.  It's amazing what a hug, a kind word, or a smile can do for us.  Calm our fears, soothe our hurts, dry our tears.  Sometimes those hugs come from our mommas or husbands.  Our sweet girlfriends or sisters.  A child can offer the tenderest of kid-love with their tiny arms squeezing your neck. 

Sometimes those hugs come in the form of a comment from a stranger in the check-out line at Target.  "What a blessing you are to those children! You are doing an amazing job as a mom."

Gulp. A huge lump lodges in my throat.  How did she know I needed an encouragement-hug? The Holy Spirit shows up in the most amazing places and faces.

Christ is like that too, you know.  Ever ready with His arms open; waiting to encircle each of us with a love greater than we've ever known.  His arms never tire of our hurts and fears.  His back never weakens under the strain of us and the baggage we carry.  His heart is never too full for one more burden or care.

Psalm 91:4 says "He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart".

As believers, we have the awesome privilege to seek refuge and comfort in the covering of his wings.  The Creator of the Universe desires to shepherd us as His flock.  The Bible says in Isaiah 40:11 "He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young."

His Word promises us that He will comfort us with His love.  Psalm 119:76 confirms this: "May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant."

Our need for Him increases the more we come to know Him.  If you don't yet know the Jesus who is the giver of peace that surpasses all understanding - NOW is the time! Turn your heart toward Him, duck under the cover of His wings and surrender it all to Him.  Then you will know the life-changing comfort His arms provide.

Let us all rejoice in His circle of love.

Have a beautiful, love-filled evening.
Niki

Just Sayin'

Read on for an insightful word from Jeremy Mikeska our Family Life Pastor.   

There is a phrase that has crept into our culture (at least in my little circle) and have even head one of my kids say it that is disturbing. I will hear someone make a rather snide comment about something in life, and they round it it to make it "sound" better with a cute "I'm just sayin'!"

Hearing this, coupled with the recent developments in the Olympics as Voula Papachristou was dismissed from the Greek national team due to racist comments on Twitter, has made me think that we are really failing in some basic Biblical understanding of our speech.

James warns of us that our tongues must be bridled. His exhortation is,..." let every person  be quick to hear,  slow to speak, slow to anger" (James 1:19)) Obviously, this is not a new problem since James addressed it a number of years ago, but it seems that we may be oblivious to the fact that Satan is using the greatness of technological advances to tempt us to "say what's on our minds" without giving any tought.

One article the other day about the reality of the current social media and these athletes in the Olympics having to deal with Tweeting mentioned that maybe people are picking the comments apart too strictly. I believe there is some truth there since it is very easy for anyone to be offended by anything another person says, however; I know, that as a believer of Jesus, I have the responsibiltity to speak the Truth in love, and sometimes that means I keep my big mouth shut.

It would be wise for us to take James' advice, as well as Thumper's dad, "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all".

We just might save ourselves and others a lot of grief.

Hey, "I'm just sayin'! "

James 3:10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.

Retreat Revisited

It's been a few months since the women's retreat.  It took me quite a while to process all that I had learned, heard, and experienced.  As I look back over my notes from the lectures, several things still stand out to me today. 

First, I love the visual of using a scale in regards to a balanced prayer life.  One side of the scale represents how much I think, talk, worry, stress, complain, and/or cry about a pressing topic.  The other side of the scale represents how much I pray, praise, offer thanksgiving, and surrender to God.  If the "me" side of the scale outweighs the "He" side of the scale then obviously my process of working through an issue is out of balance.  My communication with the Lord should always outweigh my efforts at handling things on my own.  

This scale visual has been a constant reminder for me.  I've noticed that I hesitate to call a friend with my woes or complain to my ever-patient hubby before I talked to God.  Don't misunderstand - there is certainly a time and place for seeking wise counsel.  But wise counsel comes after we ourselves have sought the Lord. 

Another nugget of smack-me-on-the-forehead knowledge I came away with was: To be effective, I must be selective.  Wow.  Now, I know there are many wise ladies in our church that already know and practice this thought.  But I love practical application.  I like to read or hear something and know immediately how it applies to me and my life.  This statement did that for me.  How can I go about doing all that I do and do all of those things well?  Or if I am so intent on all my good things, how will I have time for His things?  How can I do His work effectively if I am not selective in how I commit my time and energy?  This little phrase has reminded me to pause before saying "yes"; to lay my plans before the Lord and seek His guidance before committing.

Another lesson I came away with is to be available.  I had great plans to get a pedicure with girlfriends during free time.  I had saved my money and neglected my feet so I would get the full value out of the pedicure.  Saturday morning I felt the Holy Spirit pressing upon me not to leave the hotel but to be available.  To be honest, I was not happy.  In fact, I argued with God about how much I deserved a treat and needed to indulge my very calloused soles.  The Holy Spirit did not let up.  I gave my pedicure appointment away and waited for the Lord.

After the meet and greet with the speaker, I glanced around at my table of friends.  There, sitting 2 feet away, was the reason God asked me to stay behind.  By my side was a sweet friend whose heart was breaking, who was finally calling out for help and prayer.  I (and a few others) spent the next several hours listening and comforting a grieving sister in Christ.  My time with her was a gift from God.  He blessed me through her and through her transparent revelations of hurt and worry.  If I had gone for a pedicure, I would have missed it!  I would have missed a perfect opportunity to be a listening ear and a praying friend.

I could go on and on.  I am confident that you too, have moments that still hold great meaning.  Feel free to share them with us or keep them just between you and God.  If you missed the retreat, prayerfully consider attending next year's event.  It will bless you beyond measure.

Have a God-filled day.

Niki 

Check out my personal blog at www.plantedontherock.blogspot.com

 

Disappointment Redeemed

I'm so disappointed in you.

A knife pierced my 12 year old heart.  My mother had the power to reduce my foolishness with only that phrase. With only a disproving look and those quietly spoken words, I was reduced to shame.  Couldn't she have just spanked me and gotten it over with? A quick kapow to the bum would have been less painful than the "disappointment speech".

As a parent to a young adult, I too, know what it is to be disappointed in my child's decisions.  I understand how it hurts to hear of his wayward choices that he calls fun.  I know the burden of carrying my child's disappointing choices so close to my heart they almost become my own.

Don't misunderstand me.  My son is A-mazing.  He defends my, and your, freedom on a daily basis.  He sees the positive in his adventures in Afghanistan.  He can crack jokes about the amount of sand found in every crack and crevice of his body.  He can laugh and make light of his accomplishments in the military.  He is funny, energetic, a dreamer, a sweet big brother.

He's also 23.  He is a Christian.  A young Christian.  His spiritual growth has been slow since the age of 16.  He has a servant's heart but doesn't quite know whom he is serving.  Military advancement?  Education? Business owner?  Endless opportunities.

The last few times he had been home for R and R, I was disappointed.  I had expected to see a man.  And I did.  I saw a strong, confident, able-bodied man.  But not necessarily a man of God.  My gentle urgings and then later, bold conversations, did nothing to produce the behavior I thought I should be seeing.  You see, I had an image of who I thought my child should be.  The actuality didn't match up.  Nope, not at all.

I was frustrated and in all honesty, became a little distant in my disappointment.  Instead of continuing to pray on his behalf I refused to talk to God about the situation.  Rather than gently reproach him I began to dread our conversations.  I withheld much from a son who needed and asked for little.

Can you the parallel? 

I am a sad and sickly sinner.  I continuously disappoint my Father with my foolish choices and unwise decisions.  His heart aches over my disregard of Him.  He is angered by my unrepentant sin.  He knows the beautiful creation He has made me to be and I fall short.  On a minute by minute basis, I fall short.

But oh! What a gracious and loving Father I have.  For he never denies me His presence.  He never gives me the treatment I deserve.  He never withholds what I need.  He is an A-mazing God full of mercy, forgiveness, love, joy.  Did I mention mercy?  Lots of mercy and grace for all that I am not.  He welcomes me home every time I turn to Him.  He embraces me even when I disappoint Him.  My God loves me beyond where I've been.

And my son and I?  God has graciously given me a glimpse of my sin.  And He has graciously given me a glimpse of the man he is creating in my son.  And He has graciously given me a new attitude, ability, and desire to love my boy right now.  Right where he is today with a measure of mercy, love, and grace that can only come from Him.

His grace flows abundantly.

Niki

Maybe you need to read this…

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” –Matthew 11:28-30

I love that scripture.  I love that Jesus is constantly reaching out, across the ages, to comfort me where I sit in my jammies, typing away on my laptop and trying to make sense of my days.

Perhaps I can’t think of anything uplifting to talk about.  I mean, I could.  That is to say – I could conjure up a whole load of malarkey about this or that.  OR I could choose to see the blessings and write about those.  Choose to be thankful and list those many things off.  And I am.  Thankful and blessed.  Truly, I am.

But I’m also cloudy.  And writing it here, it’s not for you.  Sure, you may read it and take it or leave it.  But me?  I’m writing it down to remember.  To remember it even a couple years from now.  Because, actually – it helps. 

See, I kept wracking my brain about what to “talk” about and over-thinking what uplifting thing I could share with you.  And then I realized – maybe that’s not what you need to read anymore than I have it in me to write.  Maybe what you need to read is that life can be so, so difficult at times.  And that, despite the many blessings we have – still, our human frailty shows up in unexpected ways and knocks the wind out of us.

Maybe you need to hear that some parenting days are like butter on toast…warm and gooey and lovely and comforting.  And others, are so hard they make you weep.  Some days are the kind that buckle your knees and make you wonder what you think you’re doing raising little people.

Maybe you need to read that someone, another mother much like yourself, sits in her own space and wonders how this even happened.  These mini-me sponges who can be so amazing and so unbearable in the same moment.  That there is another mother out there who, maybe like you, doesn’t always enjoy it.  Doesn’t always see it as “the best thing that ever happened” to her. 

And I don’t care if that makes me unpopular with like, 2 of you.  Because I happen to know from experience that just about EVERY MOTHER has felt at one time or another that this parenting thing?  Not all that it’s cracked up to be.  Also?  The pressure to be the perfect mother?  Unbelievably difficult to shoulder. 

Maybe you needed to be reassured that every day really is like “Groundhog Day”.  No, it’s not your imagination and yes, it really does feel like it will never end.  It really does seem like some days they are out to get you AND your goat.  It really is the same thing over. and over. and over. and over.  And yes, you will be this tired for many years.

Maybe you just needed to know that feeling overwhelmed, making mistakes, and feeling like your messing up your children for life is part of a bigger picture – called motherhood.  And it’s completely normal to feel that way. 

Maybe it helps to think that while you sit in your kitchen, your living room…even your bathroom…trying to get your head clear and imagine a time when you might be able to put cohesive thoughts and sentences together again in adult company, another mother – actually thousands of mothers – are doing the same thing at the exact same moment.  Sharing your burden, without even realizing it.  Sharing your distress.  Understanding where you are and how you are feeling.

Maybe you need to hear again and again that “this too shall pass”.  That there will be a day…not so far off…quite quickly in the grand scheme of life…when they will be grown and you will wonder where the time went.  You will wonder why it went so fast.  You will miss their little feet and their small voices.  You might regret how fast they went and grew up and left you for the big world.  You might cry.  You might feel cloudy again. 

And maybe you just needed to hear all of that so you can put it all back into perspective again.  So you can get up tomorrow morning and do it again.  And the next day.  And you can keep on keeping on.  So that you can know you’re not alone. 

Not now and not ever.  And not through any single stage of this thing we call motherhood.

Maybe you needed to be reminded that His yoke is easy and His burden is light.  That He will give you rest.  That He is gentle.  And loving.  And humble.  And He loves you – exactly where you are.  Spit-up stains, sleeplessness, frayed nerves and all. 

Maybe you needed to read that today.

Maybe I did too.

Christie Bucher

*Christie writes regularly and you can visit her blog at Bushel & A Peck

BFFs For Real!

Frisco Bible has an amazing couple leading the youth, Kris and Amy Keith. Amy invited me to be a part of a get together for teen girls from my church called "Junk Food and Jesus". It was an opportunity for junior high and high school girls to indulge in some yummy food while listening in on how God is working or has worked in "older" womens' lives.

So here's the first thing . . . I'm now considered an "older" woman. Sigh. Weep. Tears. I never thought it would happen to me. Alas.

And the second thing? I am totally enjoying being around these godly young women! What an encouragement for me as a mother of five children to see our Lord evident in their lives. Parenting along with the Holy Spirit works!

The topic, shared by Heather, was about friendships - the Best Friend Forever kind. She talked about her struggles early on in life in making and keeping a BFF. Her difficulty in friendship continued throughout high school, college, and early adulthood. Friendship after friendship ended much to her disappointment and sadness. She went on to talk about how she came to understand the one True Friend, Jesus, never left her, disappointed her, or rejected her. He is her BFF.

Like Heather, I have suffered some disappointments in friendships. Most of those disappointments were due to my own inflated expectations of others through no fault of their own. Quality time with friends is one of my favorite things. There is nothing better than being silly and talking deep and serious with a like-minded friend. My end of the friendship seemed needier than the other half and would end in my overly-sensitive hurt feelings.

I've also made the mistake of jumping into a friendship with both feet and eyes closed. So wrapped up in the excitement of a new "bestie" that I missed the warning signs of "Unhealthy Road Ahead". I allowed my self-worth, joy, and near existence to be placed on the shoulders of someone who didn't want or need the extra weight of me. Can you see where this is heading? To follow the road analogy, I crashed head first into a barricade of disappointment and reality.

You see, God would not have me place my all-n-all in anyone or anything other than Him. And that is exactly what I had done. He used my choice of friend before Father as an opportunity to gently correct me. The blinders were removed from my eyes and He allowed me to see my friend as human. As fallible. Undeserving of my devotion and worship. It was not an exercise in criticism toward her. It was a command to place my worship at the feet of His throne, to offer only Him the praise of my lips, to seek to please only Him in word, thought, and deed.

My Sweet Lord has been patient and loving over my grieving of the end of the friendship. He has proven o'er and o'er that He is my eternal Best Friend. Hebrews 13:5b says " . . . for He has said, 'I will never leave you and I will never abandon you''. Relationships are given and taken away for many reasons. No matter how many earthly BFFs God has blessed me with, I can be certain of a relationship with Him. Even if my best friend contact list is as dry as the Sahara, I am assured of His desire for an eternal kinship with me. Why else would He give His Son as a sacrifice for my sins so that I may live in His palace where time does not end?

Thank you Lord, for your friendship.


P.S. - More to come on friendships, relational growth, and His gift of friends. I must be a slow learner for His lessons are never ending!

Be blessed,
Niki

Forgiveness is not an option!

Read along as Jennifer Haeg shares how God used our retreat speaker, Bonnie Floyd, to soften her heart regarding unforgiveness. There are SO many things that hit me this weekend, but forgiveness is what stood out when I prayed about what to write.  When asked if I wanted to write about my experience at the women's retreat, I immediately thought, "Yes!".  It was such a fabulous weekend that I couldn't help but want to tell people about it! Let me start by saying that I went into the weekend not sure of how I needed to grow exactly. Sure, there are things I should work on, but none of them seemed like major things. Well, it did not take long for God to humble me and to realize just how much growing I had to do! (Don't ever tell God you don't think you have much growing to do...). After hearing Bonnie's testimony Friday evening, I was reminded of something that God really hit me with at last year's retreat - forgiveness. If Bonnie can forgive her parents' murderers, can I not forgive the one person I still hold so much bitterness toward? He reminded me of this hostile, unforgiving part of my heart again.  I had been trying to forget about it  but this time, He showed me just exactly what He can do when we choose to let go of that resentment.  He changes lives. So not only did Bonnie forgive, she was able to share Jesus with the very people who murdered her parents! All I want is for this person that I have yet to forgive is to find Jesus and turn her life around.  I keep waiting for her "come to Jesus" moment to forgive her. But, maybe the problem is that I have it backwards.  Maybe I need to forgive her, and even help her (gasp!) before she can have that breakthrough. I have been waiting until she changed for me to forgive her.  But that isn't what He wants from me.  He doesn't wait for me to change to forgive me.  He first forgives.  Then through His grace and mercy and unconditional forgiveness He changes me.

 

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate with each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32

 

Thank you, Jennifer, for sharing your heart with us!  What did God show you at the retreat?  Did you go home a new creation or a recommitted child of God?Have you incorporated some of Bonnie's suggestions in hopes of a more intimate relationship with our Lord? 

 

Share it with us!  Email Niki at mcarbi@hotmail.com

Intentionally Friends

Friendships are an amazing, God-given gift.  Friends bless our lives, challenge us to improve spiritually, physically, mentally, and encourage our growth.  Friends give us secret family recipes and honest feedback on our too-little Little Black Dress or the need for confining girdle-like undergarments (underneath our too-little Little Black Dress).  Friends can show us examples of God's love through meals and baby sitting.  Friends are a blessing!

As you know, friends can also be trying.  Hurt feelings, overly-sensitive remarks, and gossip can cloud our friendships.  Trying too hard or not trying at all creates rocky ground for the seeds of friendship.  High school-type drama weighs in on compadres, doubt and self-worth increase, and sad hearts are the result.

I am not the gregarious, out going kind of gal you see on a stage.  It takes me a while to feel comfortable before letting out my inner extrovert.  And God has a peculiar way of weighing matters on our hearts and minds.  For me, He gives me an idea or something to mull over and then He will not let up until I do something about it.  Some people call that a tendency toward OCD.  I call it His desire for me to be obedient. Lately, His call on my heart is regarding friendship.  How to cultivate godly relationships with other women that glorify Him. 

"You mean be intentional about my friendships, God?" I asked Him.  "Don't just call or text when it is convenient for me, Lord?". 

Oh.  Be intentional?  Be a friend who seeks out the one who needs a friend?  Oh.

So here goes!  Below, are some ways you and I can be intentional in our efforts at creating godly friendships that glorify Him.  Some of the ideas are not original to me but are good reminders.

1. Pray - Ask God to show you women that need your friendship and then pay attention to whom He places in your path.

2. Initiate - be the first to walk up to the "new" girl, smile, say your name, and then LISTEN to her.

3.  Listen - Listen to her and talk less.  Actually focus on what she is saying, where she is coming from, and how God is ministering to her. Focus on her conversation instead of just waiting for her to stop talking so you can talk. 

4.  Pursue - Pursue her friendship.  Invite her to lunch or  a play date with the kids.  Include her in Pokeno or Bunco.  Ask her family over for a barbecue or take-out.  Some people need to be wooed before opening themselves up to new relationships. 

5.  Contact - Texting and emailing can take less than 2 minutes.  Don't wait!  Send a quick text while waiting in the car pool line or at the doctor's office.  Even better - call her on the actual phone!  It takes planning so she doesn't hear the organized chaos of 4 screaming banshees in the background but it will be worth it!

6.  Transparent - Be a transparent, honest, and sincere person.  Let her know the real you so she will be comfortable being the real her.  No one has it all together!  If we had it all together we wouldn't need Jesus.  Be real.

7.  Speak life - Guard your tongue against foulness and dirty talk.  Make a break from backbiting, gossip, and cattiness.  Be gentle and sensitive.  Say only words that help and encourage, each word a gift.  Ephesians 4:29, 31-32

8.  Merciful - Give your friend the benefit of the doubt. Forgive one another quickly and don't harbor anger and bitterness.  Love her where she is today and not where you think she ought to be.

9.  Pray - Pray for your friend in your quiet time with the Lord.  And, pray for her while with her.  It is such a gift when a bestie says "Let me pray for you right now".  Even at the park or in Starbucks, go to the Lord on her behalf.

10.  Serve - Serve her in times of need with a meal, baby sitting, or impromptu house cleaning.  Better yet, serve with her.  Your relationship can deepen and lengthen while focusing on glorifying Him.  Love and serve Him together.

What are your ideas on being an intentional friend?  Or, what are your challenges in making and maintaining friendships?  Share with us how God has given you an amazing friendship or how He is training you to be a godly friend.

Have a blessed day!
Niki

Put Your Clothes On!

Recently we read one of children's favorite stories, The Emperor's New Clothes.  My kids think it is unimaginable that anyone would actually believe to be wearing clothes while prancing through the streets of the town for all the world to see in only their skivvies.  His pride draped around his shoulders masquerading as wisdom.

Wasn't he cold?  Didn't he notice the shocked and embarrassed faces of the townspeople and his court?  WHAT was he thinking?!

After putting the book away, the Holy Spirit convicted me of my own unimaginable prideful practice.  Every morning when I rise, I go through a mental checklist of all there is to accomplish that day.  And because I am a list-maker, those items get put in order of priority.  The usual things like laundry, dishes, piano practice, schooling, Bible study, and exercise (last on the priority list, I'm ashamed to say) are placed and ready to be tackled. 

Sounds good to be so organized and on top of things, right?  Well, those things are all well and good IF I am doing them under and through the power of our Lord.  To be honest though, I tend to get ahead of myself and plan MY day MY way.  Bible study and quiet time are not slotted until 2:00 p.m. so I'll address the Lord then.

Can you believe the audacity of that sin?!  My pride and selfishness masquerading as efficiency and organization.

I go about my business and plan on my own power.  And any of us know the result of that effort, right?  Lost tempers and a complaining spirit.  An unkind voice and impatient attitude. Sin piled atop of sin.

However, there are days that I actually slow down a bit and greet the Lord first thing.  I take a moment to lay all that day holds at His feet and ask Him what,when, and how I should accomplish all that lies ahead of me.  I ask Him for His plan His way.  I ask for His guidance and direction for every detail ahead.

He never fails me.  He clothes me with patience and kindness that can only come from Him.  He increases my faith in Him and my understanding of His truth and promises.  He gives me opportunity to tell others (usually my own children) of His great love.  He wraps me in a cloak of joyful preparedness that I could never wear on my own accord.

On the days when things begin to slip out of control and slide into craziness, I picture myself as that crazy emperor.  Crazy enough to parade around the halls of my home and community without the covering of his daily dose of grace and mercy. 

Then, I dash to my "closet" and ask the Lord to help me get my clothes on!  He's always waiting with His merciful garment.

Proverbs 4:11-13
4:11 I will guide you  in the way of wisdom and I will lead you in upright paths. 4:12 When you walk, your steps  will not be hampered, and when you run, you will not stumble.4:13 Hold on to instruction,   do not let it go; protect it, because it is your life.

Do you ever walk around "naked" as the day is long?  Tell us God is calling on you to seek Him first, before your plans are lain.


Blessings,
Niki