Here are a couple last minute additions of Christmas memories and traditions:
Jen Bryant
As a kid, I remember going to Christmas eve service with my family each year. As soon as we held those candles and sang "Silent Night," I knew it was "officially" Christmas. I still don't feel quite like it's Christmas unless I get to hold a little candle with that paper circle on it and sign "Silent Night"! After church, we'd return home where my sister and I would open our special Christmas Eve gift, which was always the same thing - matching Christmas pajamas! I remember one year we got red flannel nightgowns with matching ruffled sleep caps - I felt just like one of those "children nestled all snug in their beds" from "The Night Before Christmas"! My sister and I continue the matching Christmas pajama tradition with our children today - such fun!
Niki Carbajal
I grew up in a very small country community. My father was lots of fun and loved creating memories for us. One year, he decided to abandon driving to "town" to shop for a Christmas tree. Instead, he thought we might pilfer from the neighboring pasture a small "natural-grown" cedar. Who needs a store-bought tree anyway?
He waited until well after our bedtime to load us in the truck. He actually drove down the rock road with the headlights off as not to alert the farmer of our targeted pasture. We trouped through the weeds and hay in our pj's and winter coats, climbed between the barbed wire fence, and dodged the cow patties. All for the perfect cedar tree.
One flashlight helped illuminate the perfect choice. My dad, not wanting to wake the farmer, couldn't use a chain saw. So he began to saw away as we stood shivering and trying not to complain about being scared or embarrassed that we were "stealing" a tree from our neighbor. All the noise we made alerted a not-so-happy bull. As my dad made the last cut, the tree fell and the bull CHARGED. We ran for our lives (or so we thought)! And dad hung on to that tree with all his might all the while yelling "Run for it! Run for the truck! Don't look back! Who cares about the cow patties! Run!!!!". Run we did. With our tree intact, we raced home giggling and breathless.
Boy, was that neighbor surprised the next day to find a HUGE tree stump where once stood a cedar BUSH (not a tree). It was beautiful to us.
Merry Christmas sweet women of Frisco Bible Church. I can't wait to hear how God has touched you over this blessed season.
Here are a few more Christmas memories from the women of FBC. Hope you enjoy them!
Julie Burns
One of my favorite Christmas memories as a kid is baking cookies for days and days, for the Christmas caroling party that we had at our house each year. We had so much fun making dozens and dozens of all kinds of cookies and decorating them. And of course we could not forget the "forgotten cookies" you had to make the night before. Mix them up, put them in the oven, and then turn the oven off and leave them their til morning. So yummy!
Then we would all go Christmas caroling (unheard of in France) in our neighborhood and invite all of the neighbors back for the party. The first couple of years they were always shocked and amazed to be invited into our home for homemade goodies. In France, you only go into some one's home if you know them REALLY well. There was something about the Christmas carols though that broke down the barriers and people would let down their reserve to come and join their neighbors for some fun cookies and apple cider. Now it is a tradition in my parents neighborhood and everyone always asks them when they are going to do it so they can make sure they are home. They have also started contributing to the goodies and we have seen a softening of their hearts toward the Gospel. I sometimes wonder how far off we are in this country to that scenario. It would have been almost unheard of 20 years ago... Do we know our neighbors? Do we have a heart for their Salvation? Would they come to our house for a Christmas gathering? What are some creative ways we can share the message of Jesus, with others this Christmas season? After all, isn't that what it really is all about? The cookies are just an extra added bonus!
Teresa Varela
When I was 5 years old my family lived in Alaska because my dad was in the Army. I remember waking up Christmas morning on the top of my bunk bed I shared with my sister and hanging off the end of my top bed post was a cloth sack with 3 pockets in it.. Inside each pocket was a bear... a mama bear, a daddy bear and a little bitty baby bear... That's right it was the 3 bears... After I played with it for a short while I climbed down from my bunked and crept downstairs.. I only reached the half way point when I looked down into my living room and saw our white aluminum tree all lit up with the room drowning in wrapped and unwrapped gifts from Santa... It was like looking into a Christmas toy store... I always remembered that Christmas morning.....
Years later my mom asked me this same question... I relayed to her my memory of this fantastic Christmas... When she started laughing I couldn't understand. She explained to me that I was only 5 years old and to a 5 year old everything seems larger than life... especially Santa and Christmas morning.. I said that I clearly remembered it right and she reminded me that my father was in the Army... He would never have been able to afford a room full of toys like the one I described, and that it was my imagination that made everything seem like so much..
Rose Wilms
My early childhood in the Philippines, By Dec. 18th, we start Christmas Caroling until Christmas Eve, house to house, we would go and sing in every one's front door, people usually gave us money, bake goods, fruits and what not, all the stuff we collected we bring to church and it is distributed to families who are under privilege. Then it's a must that we go to "Noche Buena" midnight church service. On Christmas day, we always had our own stockings hanging and we get to open it, then we visit all our godfathers and godmothers and they always have gifts for us.
Random Fruitcake Facts:
Fruitcakes were buried with the dead in Ancient Egypt. It's true. Ancient Egyptians used to fill the tombs of the dead with all the supplies that they would need to enjoy the afterlife, including food and water. Fruitcake was often put into the tomb of a deceased person because a fruitcake soaked in a natural preservative like alcohol or fruit juice would last a long time. It was thought that the preserved fruitcake would not spoil on the journey to the afterlife.
Fruitcakes will last for years without spoiling. It's true. A fruitcake that is properly preserved with an alcohol soaked cheesecloth that is then wrapped in plastic wrap or foil can be kept unrefrigerated for years without spoiling.
In the early 18th century, fruit cake, then known as plum cake, was outlawed in Europe for being sinfully rich.
We would love to read about your special memory or tradition surrounding Christ's birth. Send an email to mcarbi@hotmail.com.
Over the next several weeks, we'll be sharing special Christmas memories. Take a moment to enjoy getting to know the women of Frisco Bible Church.
Toni Hahn
Every Christmas Eve we would get to open one present ..picked by my mom of course...i was the oldest of 5, so i always helped the little ones open theirs...even though we knew it was going to be our new pajamas for the year, we were still happy and surprised...and of course had to wear them for our starring role in the Big Super 8 movie camera production with the bright lights in your eyes taken by my Dad!! EVERY year without fail , it was a tradition , and now i watch those movies and can't believe how fast time has gone by.
Chris Goller
21 Christmas Eves ago my boyfriend gave me a toaster oven and I laughed. As I was opening that box he was opening another box...a ring box with the most beautiful engagement ring and the question that changed the course of our lives
Summer Sipes
When I was little, we would always go the day after Thanksgiving to cut down our tree! In Virginia, it was cold, sometimes raining, but we rotated who got to pick the tree! This is a tradition that Andy and I still do with our boys, rain or shine, day after Thanksgiving, we drive out to the Christmas Tree farm and do the hayride, hot cider, etc! My favorite modern day tradition is Christmas morning, when the boys come down, we read the Luke 2 and act it out with our little people nativity:) It is special to us that we start out the day with our Savior!! (and the boys look forward to it!)
Traditions are such a special part of our lives. Do you have a meaningful moment you can share with us? Email your thoughts to: mcarbi@hotmail.com.
Random and useless Christmas facts:
President Teddy Roosevelt, an environmentalist, banned Christmas trees from the White House in 1912
Mistletoe (Viscum album) is from the Anglo-Saxon word misteltan, which means “little dung twig” because the plant spreads though bird droppings (Uh, GROSS!).
In Poland, spiders or spider webs are common Christmas trees decorations because according to legend, a spider wove a blanket for Baby Jesus. In fact, Polish people consider spiders to be symbols of goodness and prosperity at Christmas.
The Germans made the first artificial Christmas trees out of dyed goose feathers
According to the Guinness world records, the tallest Christmas tree ever cut was a 221-foot Douglas fir that was displayed in 1950 at the Northgate Shopping Center in Seattle, Washington
McDonald's. A plastic playground crawling in germs and swimming in carbs. The originator of happiness in a cardboard box and plastic toys that are neatly placed in the circular file as soon as you hit the door.
It's also the place I spent an hour on my knees completely relying on the Lord on Saturday.
Let me back up. Our family is enjoying watching 5 year old soccer Saturday morning. My hubby's phone rings and he answers it.
"Mr. Carbajal? This is Captain E calling from Alaska. Your son, Jade, is in ICU." "Excuse me? Who is this? What did you say?"
"Your son has some broken bones around his right eye. He is in ICU and we are unaware of the severity of his injuries. Depending on the severity, the Army will fly you and his mom to Alaska. I'll call you in an hour."
"Huh?! OK, I'll wait to hear from you."
I got the gist of the entire conversation as I watched my husband's coffee-colored, sweet face drain of color. He plunked himself down on the grass and repeated all he had been told. My questions flew out of my mouth faster than he could process them.
Even in the midst of potential heartache, the kids' stomachs were rumbling. So where do we go? The loudest, most crowded, most obnoxious place on the face of this God created planet - McDonald's.
We woodenly distributed out nuggets and fries, smiling somewhat blankly at child requests of "more, please!". I checked my watch praying for the minutes to fly by, seconds agonizingly slow. I tried to engage Mario in conversation, tried to get his feelings, gauge his stress level.
I couldn't take another moment perched on the edge of the sticky plastic seat. I marched to the not-so-clean public restroom and hit my knees. I do admit to checking the floor first. It may be shallow but have you ever seen the floor?! Anyway . . .
I spent that time praying, crying out to my Sweet Lord. Begging Him to protect my son's life, his health, his vision, his brain. Asking for a "it looks worse than it really is" prognosis. Asking Him to provide the doctors with wisdom regarding his medical treatment. Praying for a swift recovery.
After all that, I was honestly able to ask the Lord to give each of us a peace that surpasses all understanding, that we would be able to glorify Him in every single moment, and that we would not only accept His will for the situation but that we would be able to inscribe His will upon our hearts.
I walked out of the Ladies' room a different person, a different heart. I have never had to rely on the Lord in that way. I'm 3,000 miles away from my adult son lying alone in an ICU room with unknown injuries. I'm waiting, hanging by my fingernails to hear from Captain E.
I am utterly helpless.
Nothing to plan or control. Nothing to do. Nothing to say.
Just wait. Wait. And wait.
The waiting finally ends. He is OK! No permanent damage. No surgery needed.
Thank you God. Thank you for his health and life. Thank you for Your care and infinite concern for each of us. Thank you for the opportunity to REALLY rely on You with my whole heart surrendered.
Thank YOU for meeting me there in that sticky, icky Ladies' Room.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
Take a moment to enjoy a "transforming" post by Katina Wilkins:
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the newcreation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17
That is one of my favorite verses in the Bible.There is something really wonderful about being a new creation.I have this verse over some butterflies I made to decorate my class in Sonshine School.I put it up after Easter as a reminder of what comes next after Christ died and rose from the dead.He basically takes us with him.He offers us an opportunity to die and rise again as a new creation.Just as the caterpillar wears his birth identity until it’s time for its transformation, we too are born in our natural state.But once the caterpillar is ready to be transformed and yields to the promise of its Maker, it gets to be transformed into a new creation.It doesn’t look anything like it did before.Halleluiah, it gets some wings and a new majestic beauty and has new purpose in this world.What it could never even think about doing in this world is now open to it.
As caterpillars, we too are focused on ourselves. We fill our bellies with things that are self serving and satisfying, not even paying attention to the destruction we may leave behind.This is what we know; this is what we were born to do; this is what we need to do to survive.Every other caterpillar does that and we don’t know any different.But when we get transformed by Christ and become new butterflies, our focus changes.In the process of feeding ourselves, we do God’s work, pollinating others and spreading our joy.We see the world from a new point of view.There is so much FREEDOM, that caterpillars could never experience before the transformation or even conceive.This is the same for us but the biggest difference is that we have a choice to become transformed whereas the caterpillar does not.He goes through the process naturally. God gave us free will.We get to choose whether we want to stay a caterpillar or become a butterfly.
Then there is the issue of butterflies who want to act like caterpillars.Some do this because it is so familiar and comfortable.We have the ability to fly freely and enjoy the gifts God gave us, but maybe we are scared to use it, or we hang out with other caterpillars we don’t want to leave behind, or maybe we just like the familiar of what we were used to.Have you ever seen a butterfly in real life just want to stay a caterpillar?What would you think if you did?I can say that there are areas in my life that God has so many more plans for me that I would allow Him to activate because I was comfortable being a caterpillar.My disobedience to the call actually makes me feel worse than a caterpillar; it sometimes feels like I am stuck in the chrysalis.I can’t go back but going forward is too scary and I fell stuck.Every time I decide to follow BY FAITH, I have seen the rewards of me doing so.It is by faith that we follow Christ and it is an EVERY DAY decision.
So then, if we are a new creation, why do we often still behave like a caterpillar or get stuck in the chrysalis?Why don’t we become a butterfly and always stay there?That is a good question.Every day we have a choice.God doesn’t override our free will.We are new creations in Christ in that our old fleshly or natural spirit we are born with gets replaced with the Holy Spirit—direct access to God.When we accept Christ, we get choices that we never had before.A caterpillar who hasn’t gone through the process to become a butterfly will remain a caterpillar.A person who never accepts Christ will always be a natural person, trying to figure out life alone from the perspective of a caterpillar or in our case from the world.The world’s solutions are very self-centered, self-preserving, and focused on the here and now.People who do not acknowledge Christ have a pattern of behavior that derive from Adam’s sins, and, on their own, it is impossible to break free.When we do accept Christ and receive the Holy Spirit we have a whole new avenue and perspective in this world.We get choices.The Bible gives us advice straight from our Maker on how He wants us to operate and navigate through this world.We are not alone.He gives us freedom to truly be who He created us to be—to make a difference in this world, touching other’s lives, building eternal rewards.A butterfly has the ability to affect so much more of its surroundings than a caterpillar could ever do.Just by fluttering it bring happiness to those around it, it creates energy in those trying to chase it, it pollinates plants that would never have the opportunity to touch one another.In the same way we Christians are built to do the same thing—bring joy, energy, life, unity, help to those far away…the list can go on and on.It is because the Spirit knows what is needed and uses the body of Christ—us—to show others who He is by doing His work.We have to choose to let Him use us this way.We are fully capable, fully equipped, a whole new creation; we just have to have faith to believe in our newly created selves and allow God’s power to work through us.
Who are you going to be today?A caterpillar?A butterfly?Stuck in the chrysalis, uncomfortable but too scared to do anything?If you have truly accepted Christ as your Savior, rest assured, you are fully empowered, equipped and capable by the Holy Spirit to be a butterfly.Just rest your faith in Him and be all you were created to be and watch yourself soar!
Take a minute to enjoy a sweet post from FBC's Women's Ministry Director, Jen Bryant -
“There is a season, turn, turn, turn… and a time for every purpose under heaven…”God wrote about seasons long before The Byrds sang about them:
Ecc. 3:1-8 – There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time for to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
There is a time for everything.We all journey through different seasons in our lives – this is Biblical truth.It is also true that every season (both good & bad) must come to an end.We must cling to this truth when we are in the midst of a season of weeping and mourning.God promises that will we have seasons of laughing and dancing again.
After an extremely difficult season of trials, pain, suffering, and tragic loss in my own life, there were times when I truly felt like I would live with a heaviness of sorrow on my heart for the rest of my life.I felt as though I would never fully enjoy my life or my blessings again.
Oh, I knew I had blessings.I had a wonderful, Godly husband who loved me and was a terrific father.I had two healthy, precious daughters.What was wrong with me?Was I so angry with God and in such depths of grief that I could not be thankful for the obvious blessings God had given me because of what He had taken away?Just recently, I found a quote by Beth Moore that summarized and validated this time in my life so well:
You cry until you’re certain you have no more tears and then a few hours later, they wash over you like a flood.You wonder where on earth they’re coming from. …Staring out into space, experiencing moments of nothingness… of meaninglessness… even though a (child) nearby would have begged to differ.In the early moments of loss, nothing we have can quite make up for what we’ve lost.Only time and healing can bring back our realization of all we have to live for.Early grief steals our world as if nothing and no one else ever existed.
–Beth Moore, The Patriarchs, pg. 78
And yet, that season did come to an end.My grieving and healing process has been a long and often difficult process, but I can say with confidence that the Lord has brought our family out of our season of weeping and mourning and into a season of healing, blessing, laughing, and yes, even a little dancing!In the midst of your own trials, when you can barely lift your head above the churning waters long enough to take a breath, it may seem like it will never end.Cling to God’s promise that He will bring you out of this season in His perfect timing and you will, believe it or not, have seasons of laughter and dancing again!
Now, of course, the “flip side” of this is that those of us who are currently enjoying a good season must realize that we will again face difficult seasons.Now, I, of course have decided that I am done with all my seasons of death, weeping, mourning, tearing down, etc. and will now only have the good seasons until Jesus takes me home.Sounds good, right??But, noooo, I know much better than that…I know that there are difficult seasons ahead of me.I don’t know what they are (and I don’t really want to know!), but I do know that they will come.Jesus Himself promised that.At first, the thought of having to face trials in my future that are even a fraction of what I have already faced strikes fear in the deepest part of my soul and just about sends me into an anxiety attack!
But, then God takes my hand, and says gently, “My child, remember what I have taught you.I will not send you into any battle without fully equipping you with what you need to be victorious.”
For His Word says,
His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness.– 2 Peter 1:4
Much of this “everything we need” is found in God’s Word.That is why it is so important to be in His word, adding to your personal artillery during the good seasons as well as in the difficult ones.Just as Joseph in Egypt stored up grain during the seven years of abundance to prepare for the seven years of famine, we must also store up a harvest of God’s word in the good seasons.When seasons of famine come, God will use these stored up scriptures to comfort and strengthen you.He will bring these scriptures to your mind for you to pray when you have no words of your own left.When you don’t have the time, energy, or desire to study His word in these difficult times, His word will already be stored up like treasures in your heart!
Well, we may think to ourselves, difficult times may be inevitable, but God will never give us more than we can handle, right?I’ve heard this saying so many times and I must confess that I am guilty of saying it myself.But, do you know that that is not Biblical truth??The scripture that this saying loosely refers to is 1 Corinthians 10:13, which says,
And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
This scripture, although wonderful, is not talking about trials of pain, suffering, grief, and loss.It is talking about temptation.God promises that He will not allow us to be tempted without giving us a way out.Praise Him!But, what He is NOT promising is that He will not allow us to endure more trials and troubles than we can handle.
Quite the contrary.In John 16:33, Jesus says, “in this world you WILL have trouble.”Jesus continues, “But take heart!I have overcome the world!”Look with me at some more of God’s promises:
*Luke – Nothing is impossible with God.
*2 Cor. 12:9-10 – tells us that His grace is sufficient for us and that His power is made perfect in our weakness.
*Isaiah 41:10 – So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God.I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
*Romans 8:37-39 – God tells us that nothing can separate us from the love of God – not death or life, angels or demons, present or future, NOTHING in all creation!God promises that we are more than conquerors through Jesus Christ who loved us!
*Jeremiah 32:17 – tells us nothing is too hard for God!
*Colossians – To this end I labor, struggling with all His energy, which so powerfully works in me.
Do you notice something here?It’s not about my strength or what Ican handle.It’s all about His strength and power, and what He can do through me when what little strength I did have is long gone, and I humbly acknowledge my own utter and complete weakness before His throne.No, God does not promise that He won’t give us more than we can handle.What God does promise is that He will not give us more than HE can handle.And He can handle anything.
Although we can be certain that difficult seasons will come, we need NOT fear them.God has used the trials of the past to strengthen and equip us for trials we will face in the future.One of my favorite quotes from Chuck Swindoll is “Nothing touches our lives that hasn’t first filtered through the very fingers of God.”
Not long ago, our very own Pastor Wayne touched on the subject of fear in his sermon on Haggai 2.Haggai 2:5 says, “And My Spirit remains among you. DO NOT FEAR.”In verse 4, God exhorts, “Be strong… For I am with you.”Pastor Wayne explained to us that the word “strong” is the Hebrew word “chazaq,” which means “to hang tight to something, to be fixed.”“Just like a barnacle,” Pastor Wayne declared.I love that!Just be a barnacle on Jesus and never fear!Even the fiercest storm cannot peel a barnacle of its chosen spot.As Pastor Wayne put it, “Where God is there is no need to fear – He is bigger than any storm.”
At a Beth Moore conference I was blessed to attend, Beth taught on a particular passage in the book of 1 Samuel.Just after the Israelite army had defeated the Philistines by the grace of God, Samuel set up a stone to commemorate the victory and named the stone “Ebenezer,” saying “Thus far the Lord has helped us.” (1Sam. 7:12)Now, set aside all associations with Ebenezer Scrooge, and focus on the meaning – “Thus far the Lord has helped us.”Look back over your life and find your “Ebenezer stones.”Recall the things the Lord has helped you through and rest in the assurance that He will help you again.When fear creeps into the corners of your heart, say to yourself, “Thus far the Lord has helped me, and He will continue to help me, come what may!”Your God is faithful.He has been faithful to you and He will be faithful to you.Count on it.
I get asked that question a lot. And in the adoption community, it gets tossed around a lot more than you might think. And I have often asked that question of fellow adoptive parents.
Why did you adopt?
Did it start out as a humanitarian effort? Did it begin as a deep rooted desire to help the parentless children of the world, no matter the cost? If it did, then…well done! I mean, that is to say – you’re probably in that select few percentage of people who truly set out to make the world a better place, one child at a time. And I think that’s amazing. And I’m jealous. Why?
Can I tell you a secret? I think I was very self-centered. Not that it’s always bad to think of yourself. Clearly not. But that thought did not occur to me, nor did it appear in my plans of the perfect life with the perfect man and the perfect children. No, it did not. It was a back-burner. I had talked briefly, while single, about possibly adopting. But only because I was worried Mr. Amazing might never show up. When he did? We talked about having kids on our first date. Yes, we did.
And my husband, Anton? Always felt in his guts he would adopt. Somehow. Always open to it.
Let me tell you a little truth about me. I did not start out in the adoption process to help the motherless child. I did not set out to do a good deed. I did not set out to help anyone but myself. Me. My own personal #1. I set out to take care of the deep longing in my heart to be a mother. To experience motherhood.
And when my own fertility options seemed bleak – and then bleaker as the years went by – we became more and more open to the option of adoption for building our family.
I died a little bit that day. My optimism went sailing right on out the Doctor’s office window and into the womb of some other expectant mother. I heard the words, “uterus not conducive”. “Most likely a lot of difficultly and that’s if you could conceive”. “Much higher risk and possibility for miscarriage" and they stung and crushed and wounded and I was numb and eerily calm.
But friend, when we got home from that appointment...I wept like a baby there in the fetal position on the floor of our home office. When it felt safe and when I started to digest that I was woefully made on the inside. That my “house” couldn’t safely hold what I most wanted to give my husband. A child.
Leaving me hurting and devastated and feeling like my body had failed me in what could have been my finest accomplishment in life. To give Anton a son. A daughter. Someone to be ours. Part of me. Part of him. I’ve never felt so broken from my heart down to my broken uterus. Split right into.
I wanted what I wanted. And it was slipping through my fingers. Never mind slipping. It was all but gone. There was nothing to do for it. Just watch it evaporate with my perfect life…down, down, down until it was gone and with it – all my dreams.
And I do think it was after that…maybe two years later, that Anton mentioned adoption to me again. And I was listening. And it seemed unlikely and difficult. Expensive and out of our reach. But I was willing to try. I guess for Anton.
And Anton sent to me an e-mail that mentioned going to a meeting for a particular agency…for a program in China. For a daughter. And he said “do you want to check this out?”
For no known reason, I began to weep when I clicked that link. I was at work. There I sat, crying. And my favorite co-worker came around the bend and saw me. “What is it?!?! What’s the matter?!?!” and I could only say the words “I’m adopting a little baby girl”. I knew…down in my soul. This is what we’re going to do. And it feels so perfectly right.
And you know already that on the way to China and to our sweet Keira Joy…we found Ethiopia and in it, our amazing son Quint.
I don’t think wanting to be a mother, wanting to have a family, wanting to be a parent is a wrong reason to want to adopt. But somehow, I think as adoptive parents we feel obligated to have the idea that we set out to save a child as the back-lighting to our stories. That somehow we set out to help someone other than ourselves. And maybe you did. And I’ve already said that I applaud that. I truly do. But I can’t say that for myself. I set out to mend my broken heart. And before you think for a minute that my children are second string to the dream – let me tell you the truth.
Oh my sweet beautiful children. They taught me everything that was truly important. Not to think of myself. But to think of others.
They light up my life with joy, happiness, laughter, love and yes, sometimes even pain. They could never play second fiddle to any imagined child in my mind, because they are our everything. They always were and they always will be. They are not, nor could they ever be – second to anything. I was never meant to have biological children. And it took time and acceptance, but I released that long ago. And when you cannot bear children, take it from my heart to yours that you absolutely must grieve that. Anyone who tells you that you can always “just adopt” needs to be slapped. Twice. It’s a painful journey for many of us. And it cannot be disregarded. It’s devastating and it is a dream that you have to let go of with time.
But it was right. It was right for me. Because my kids…what they mean to me? To us? What they are? Is the exact and utter will of the Living God in my life. They are and always were my children. They have two earthly mothers and two earthly fathers and I’m so truly and deeply blessed beyond measure that we should get to be part of that. We love them with every breath within us.
I have often said that our adoption journey has healed my heart so much better than anything I could have ever attempted to do on my own. It has taught me so much about myself, about my heart and the depth of my love, and my ability to love and to allow myself to be loved. It has taught me how sweet healing can be and how amazing our lives can be if we are willing to open up our minds to the possibilities. Stepping outside your comfort zone is often the very first step.
And though I did not start out this journey with a humanitarian heart – I would be dishonest if I did not tell you that it changes you. It marks you. You cannot go to some of these 3rd world countries, see what you see, and not be changed. You can’t come home and on some level…not want to find a way to make a change for the orphans left behind. Your eyes become opened to the world in a new way. You see the hurt outside your own. Suddenly it becomes a larger picture of what can be done and what should be done. You become less and others become more. You decrease and so does your pain. You are small and the children in need…they are big. My journey has taken me further and further from the dream and focus of being a mother, and more and more towards being a mother to the motherless.
How richly it has blessed me to take that step of faith. I would be lying if I told you that we felt we had done enough. The truth? The truth is that we often talk about finding room for more in our family. Finding a way to help. Finding a way to reach in and pull one more, two more….out of that broken life. We don’t have money, but I have such a hard time accepting that children are forced to live in an orphanage with no hope and no one to love them…over money. That emptiness of having no one. That loneliness of being left. It’s so heartbreaking. Can you imagine it? I can. Every time I look at my babies. It could be them. Left behind. It makes me sick. How many more then could be brought up out of that? The journey is sweet and the road is hard. But my heart…I would never change a minute of it. Not a single minute.
Do I wish I could have biological children? Not for a single minute of a single day since my son was placed in my arms. That’s the truth.
I think that’s how God reaches out to us in our despair. Through brokenness and frailty, curled up in that ball…sobbing my heart out…asking “why me”. This path was set into motion of love and compassion and life changing experiences…and two little children. Motherless no more. And this aching need to be a mother…filled and filled again and again until it truly has overflowed with the love I bear them.
He sets the lonely in families, friends. Truly He does. And He heals the brokenhearted.
Are we listening…
Christie is a mom to two amazing kiddos and a wife/theater widow going on eleven years. She loves writing as a form of clearing out the mental cobwebs and she blogs about her vida loca over at Bushel & A Peckon a regular basis. (As regular as anyone could hope to be with two toddlers!)
Lately, I have been just maintaining the chaos. You know, floating down my personal river of the normal goings-on of our family and church and friends. Sometimes getting too caught up in someone else's expectations of me or another's Saga of Drama. Placing my own spiritual, emotional, and mental health aside to grease the skids for another. Amidst all the normal and not so normal instances of life, I tend to lose my way. Not necessarily careen off God's clear road map but to veer off into the Badlands of Pity or the Deep Sea of Regret.
God has given me an amazing friend in Mandy. This woman is truly a woman of God. I can always count on her to counsel me in love but more so in Truth. After calling her recently with an invitation to my Pity Party, she promptly called an end to my celebration. She got down to the transparent, vulnerable, truth of the matter.
"You're looking for approval and acceptance in all the wrong places, dear one. Only our Sweet Lord can love you and approve you in the way that is needed".
NO ONE ELSE.
NOTHING ELSE.
To steer me back on track and to keep me there, Mandy challenged me with some very specific goal setting. Part of that conversation was about what kind of legacy I want to leave behind. She had been reading an article written by Sally Clarkson that said:
"What 5 attributes do you want to characterize your life? Write them down and seek scripture to support these characteristics. Then make a commitment to allow Christ to cultivate them in you."
What an idea! I set financial goals, education goals for my children, weight loss goals (GROAN!), homemaking goals, food preparation goals, scripture memory goals, and so on. But I have never given thought to the sort of legacy I will leave behind.
Will those that knew me remember my mess-ups and mistakes? Will I be thought of as high-maintenance and sometimes harsh? Will my name be synonymous with emotional basket case? Or, a Judgemental Judy?
I pray not. Over the last week, I've asked God to show me some areas that need some extra-special attention in my life. I've written them as goals with scripture notes.
I seek to be a woman that uses edifying speech - everything I say to be good and helpful and an encouragement to those who hear me (Eph 4:29)
I seek to be a woman that is kind, tenderhearted, forgiving, making the most of every opportunity for doing good (Eph 4:32, 5:16)
I seek to be a woman that is quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger, and to be merciful to friends and strangers (James 1:19, 2:13)
I seek to be a woman that humbles herself before God, draws close to Him, and to plant seeds of peace to reap a harvest of goodness (James 3:18, 4:7-8)
I seek to be a woman that endlessly praises Him, to remember to give Him thanks even in my complaining, to look to Him and His strength, and to seek His face always (Ps 105:4, Phil 4:6-7)
I realize that leaving a legacy of worth will be a life-long goal, a pursuit to be made only with the aide of the Holy Spirit and a relationship with God the Father and Son.
Do you want to join me? If you are feeling led to examine your own legacy and want to share it with the women of Frisco Bible, please leave a comment. Let's rejoice together as God makes it clear to each of us how we are to seek His way.
